From Independent to Dependent
When you come a across a independent strong will woman, OMG you got something on your hands. (Disclaimer: Ladies please don't get mad at me, just read I promise by the end you will have a major AHA moment) Ms. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T is strong will(stubborn as a mule), she has her life mapped out(GOALS), she is organized (set in her ways), she doesn't trust anyone (she has been betrayed).... Does this sound like someone you know?
Ms. Independent usually convinces herself that she is wife material but she will never be submissive. Is she wife material? Absolutely, but there is a few adjustments that she will have to make. Is she willing to make them? Good question...Let me give you a snapshot of April Machelle's transition from Ms.Independent to Dependent.
So as a youngster I went through life without a care in the world. Your typical young female, no kid's, worked a couple job's, clubbed everyday the door's opened, own apartment, not a care in the world. Eventually, I wanted something different. I left MS and joined the ARMY. Not knowing shortly after I would be someone's wife. I went into my 1st marriage with all of my INDEPENDANCE and never changed anything about myself. Sad to say that it ended after 3.5 short year's but really before then. I didn't feel the need to be submissive, I didn't feel the need to change anything about myself, it was all about what I wanted. I was Independent and stuck in my ways. Divorce didn't leave me sad or heartbroken, it left me praying and soul searching.
God has a sense of humor!!! My prince charming knew my story and wanted to take his chances. I didn't have time to soul search and get myself together before I was someone else's wife again. This time was different, I was still Ms. Independent when I became Mrs. Ford, but Mr. Ford wasn't having it.
The picture above explains how we made it over the hurdles, and how we are still making it. (PRAYING) Outside of my husband I had never had a man tell me, I'm a man and you will treat me as such. When you have been Independent for so long in and out of relationships it's hard to go and trust someone else with taking care of thing's other than yourself. Honestly, if I didn't come up off my independent kick I would have been in divorce court for a 2nd time. Now I am not saying that I'm 100% delivered , but I have come a long way. My family and friend's say that I met my match with my husband. My dad would always say he was made just for you. My husband didn't take my independence, but he did teach me how to trust and allow him to love me. Yes, you must allow people to love you. It's ok to be vulnerable, and submissive to those who have earned that right. Everyone is not deserving of your trust, or love. How do you know if they are? Be open to making it to that point in your relationship. You will learn that your past can either ruin your future or make it. Learn from your past but don't bring it into your future. I'm grateful to GOD for saving me from my own silly self.
I'm not telling you to loose yourself, I'm telling you to learn how to be LOVED. You can have INDEPENDENCE as a DEPENDENT. Real men want to know that they are needed. Allow them the chance to show you where your strengths are needed. Remember we are the rib, so they need us. Just allow them to need us. It can be hard but simple. The relationship GOALS that you desire to have can be yours, but you have to be willing to put in the work. You have to be a worker before you can be a BOSS. The end result is so worth it. Our marriage is far from perfect,half of the time we don't even like each other, but we have unconditional love. The common denominator is we are willing to put in the work, and vowed to fight till the end.
Ms. Independent can be Mrs. ___________ and still have her identity!!!
